Encourage the Timid
1 Thessalonians 5v14b
4th March 2022
We're looking at:
1 Thessalonians 5:14
And we urge you, brothers, warn [admonish] those who are idle, encourage the timid,
help the weak, be patient with everyone.
We looked at Paul's instruction to warn [or admonish] those who are idle [or undisciplined] last time. Next, Paul says, encourage the timid.
Some Christians are timid, or fainthearted. They don't think they could possibly speak at an outreach event, or cook for a church meal, or read a Bible passage to the church on a Sunday morning, or pick up a spider, or raise their hands in worship, or speak in tongues, or tell their neighbour about the love of Jesus, or something. We're all different. We're not called to admonish timid people. We're called to encourage them.
Do you know that many people feel timid about something because they've been actively discouraged. Discouragement is a terrible thing. Many of us have been told we can't do Maths, or we can't sing, or we can't dance, or something.
There is a running joke in this country that all men over about 40 are incapable of dancing. No wonder most of them don't. I was told, quite clearly, when I was 8 years old, that I can't dance. It's hard to shake off that kind of curse. It is a curse, in all the ways that matter; it 's a word spoken over you that binds you. Many women have been told they're ugly, or fat. Many people have been told they're stupid. Some of us have been told we'll never amount to anything. Some of us have been excluded from a friendship group. No wonder we've become timid.
If you've had that kind of negativity spoken over you, you know how much it hurts, and you know how much you've been restricted by it. You know what damage it's done. So please, please, please, dear brother or sister: never, ever inflict that damage on somebody else. Never tell them they're ugly or stupid or fat, even if they are. Never tell them that can't dance, or sing, or cook, even if they can't. Or, at least, only ever do so after much prayer, and with much love and compassion.
There can be a place for saying, "my dear brother, have you considered eating more lettuce?", or "Maybe singing in the worship team isn't the ministry God has given you", or "Have you considered taking dance lessons?" but never, ever say something like that unkindly, or with an amused look on your face. No-one likes being laughed at.
Luke 6v31
Do to others as you would have them do to you.
And, having dealt with the need to avoid being discouraging, let's consider how to be positively encouraging.
Here's a funny thing. I've found that if you tell people they're good at something, they get better. If you tell them they're bad at something, they get worse. So be encouraging.
I know there are limits. You probably shouldn't tell somebody who knows nothing about the Bible what a good preacher he is. You probably shouldn't tell somebody who's tone deaf that he's a great singer, or somebody who's colour blind what a good painter he is. But by and large, encouragement is always better than discouragement, and you can always find something encouraging to say, if you look for it.
What we say to people has more effect than we'd like to think. One of the reasons I'm a pastor today is that a wonderful man of God called Don Lamb encouraged me to preach, and to study, and to become an elder in my church, and to offer myself as pastor when the need arose. And one of the reasons so many people don't reach their potential is that some foolish or unkind person has spoken negativity over them, so they gave up.
Sometimes I invite people who aren't yet particularly brilliant at something to have a go. Sometimes it doesn't work out perfectly the first few times, or ever. But if they never get the chance, if they're too faint-hearted to try, we'll never know what talents they have.
We can encourage our brother or sister with words, or with a smile, or with a nod, or with a "thank you", or by giving him opportunities to serve. We can encourage our brother or sister just my chatting with him, or making him a cup of coffee. We can encourage our brother or sister to by taking him seriously, listening to him, patiently and carefully, without interruption, and then saying something helpful when he's finished speaking.
We can encourage people to use spiritual gifts, or to raise their hands in worship, by doing these things ourselves, by being examples, by proving that you can do them and no-one will criticise you. There are few things more encouraging than sitting in church next to somebody who wants to sing loudly, worship extravagantly, put their heart and soul into praising their Lord. And there are few things less encouraging than sitting next to somebody who mumbles the words, or stares at his feet, or looks around the room or, heaven forfend, looks at his phone, during worship.
Encourage the timid, any way you can, as gently as possible.