Marriage, Faithfulness and Divorce - Part 2

Malachi 2v11-12

12^th March 2021

Last week, we started looking at Malachi 2v10-16, a passage that's well-known for teaching about divorce, but really it's about faithfulness.

This passage is uncomfortable for some of us, but it can't be right to ignore it, and live our lives as if God didn't put it in the Bible. We must accept that this is the word of God. As we study it there is a danger that some of us will feel guilty and unworthy, and an even greater danger that some of us will feel self-righteous and judgemental, so we must proceed with caution.

If it makes you feel guilty, please remember that all your sin is forgiven. If it makes you feel judgemental, please remember that you're a sinner too. If you find in your heart a desire to criticise your brother or sister in Christ, please deal with what Jesus calls "the log in your eye", the sin of judgementalism. We've all made mistakes. We've all been in difficult situations. Only Jesus is perfect.

We began by studying Verse 10, which says we profane the covenant of our fathers when we break faith with one another. Malachi now gets specific. The next verse says:

Malachi 2:11
Judah has broken faith. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the Lord loves by marrying the daughter of a foreign god.

Through the prophet Malachi, God accused many of the Jews at that time of desecrating the temple by marrying Gentiles. Even today, Jews teach their children to marry within their faith, but it's not often taught in our generation that Christians should only marry Christians. But surely this verse applies to Christians even more than to Jews, because the church is the temple of God (1 Corinthians 3:16).

There may be exceptions but, in most cases, to marry outside the Christian faith is to desecrate the church, to show unfaithfulness to God and His people. I'm sorry if you haven't been taught that before, but that's surely what this passage means for us.

It's not always wrong to marry outside God's people. Some Jews who married Gentiles are commended for doing so. Boaz married the Moabite Ruth, who became King David's grandmother, but Ruth was the adopted daughter of an Israelite woman. Esther married King Xerxes of Persia, but Esther was able to help save her people from genocide by marrying that foreign king.

We have to be careful. Biblical ethics are never simplistic. They're a matter of principles, not of rules. The principle that God is demanding here is faithfulness, and God demands that we're faithful to His people. Occasionally, marrying a non-believer is an act of faithfulness to God's people. But usually, a Jew who marries a Gentile, or a Christian who marries a non-Christian, shows a lack of faithfulness towards God's people.

I know Christians who have done this, and I have no desire to judge them or make them feel bad. Many of them didn't know it was contrary to the Bible. But that's what God is saying here, and in

2 Corinthians 4:14-17
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people." Therefore, "Come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you."

This is not just about marriage. It applies just as much to business partnerships, or any other kind of partnership. God is saying that there can be no fellowship, no true heart-to-heart, mind-to-mind, spirit-to-spirit, unity between a Jew and a Gentile, or between a Christian and a non-Christian. There can be friendship, but there can't be fellowship.

A Christian and a non-Christian can like each other, they can enjoy each other's company, they can find each other attractive, but they have irreconcilable world views. They can't see things the same way, or feel the same way about important things. It's very unpopular, and rare, to say this, but it's true. It might sound judgemental, but it's intended for our good.

All God's laws are intended for our good. He forbids murder because he wants us to stay alive. He forbids theft because he wants us to be able to keep our possessions. He forbids adultery because he wants our marriages to stay strong and our partners to be saved from heartache. He urges us to marry Christians because he wants our marriages to be between like-minded people, built on a strong, Biblical foundation.

It seems to me that the church has by-and-large failed the Christians in this country by giving the impression that Christianity is no more than a pleasant and useful addition to our existing lifestyle. In fact, becoming a Christian necessitates the renunciation of everything we had and everything we were before we were born again. It involves genuine, and sometimes costly, commitment to God and His people.

Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

We're Gods people now. And we owe all our loyalty to God and to His people, the church.

If you did marry a non-Christian, this doesn't mean that you should separate from him or her. The same principle of faithfulness that means we shouldn't marry outside God people, also means we should be faithful to our marriage partner.

1 Corinthians 7:12-14
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

The decisions we took in the past are in the past. If we made a mistake, God forgives us. Morality is about what we do today. And today, God wants us to be faithful to our marriage partner.

God takes this issue of marrying outside the faith very seriously, as we can see from:

Malachi 2:12
As for the man who does this, whoever he may be, may the Lord cut him off from the tents of Jacob — even though he brings offerings to the Lord Almighty.

We may not like to think like this but to marry a Gentile or a non-Christian is to marry the daughter [or son] of a foreign god. Malachi isn't prophesying in this verse. He's praying that God removes the person who marries a Gentile from the Israelite nation. But God will never reject us, His New Covenant people, no matter who we marry. The New Covenant in which we stand is God's promise to forgive us all our transgressions. Jesus said:

John 6:37
All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.

Hebrews 13:5b
God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

And we should never reject each other. Every one of us should show loyalty first to God and second to God's people. All else is tertiary.